The Story of Wolf
by Alisu
Summary: <html><head></head>Fenris has been waiting the return of Hawke from the Deeproads. He can't quite answer why he's still there and hopes she can tell her if she, no, when she comes back. Will loosely follow the main storyline so obviously spoilers along the way.</html>
1. Prologue

Don't own the characters which obviously is the norm here. Not native English speaker either which probably shows. And of course, comments are welcome..

-o-

Gates of Kirkwall. While most of the traffic to and from the busy city went through the docks, the land routes were still well used. Hundreds of people went through every day during the daylight hours that the gates were open, and one person had been there everyday watching them pass for almost a week now. During his guard he had already revealed couple smuggling operations, and apprehended minor slave traders. Aveline had even suggested she should be paying him for his vigilance and as usual, Fenris hadn't been able to tell if she was joking or not. After all that wasn't his reason for staying there day after day. No, he was waiting the return of his friend from the Deeproads. A friend he didn't even know he had before he surprised himself by being furious for being left behind when they started their foolish expedition. She even had chosen to take that abomination with her, of all people.

At first he had decided he had already been too long in one place, and that it was as good a chance to leave as any. But this and that had held him back and weeks went by, and then the news of the return of Bartrands expedition came. Fenris was not one to ask around openly but he found out soon enough that Varric and Hawke sisters were not with them. While they were not by far the only losses the expedition had suffered, talking with Bodahn confirmed his suspicions that they had more probably gotten separated from the main group at some point. He already knew that they were hard to kill after all. Talking with Bartrand didn't seem to be possible however, and no one else didn't seem to know when they had last seen them. So the next surprise to himself had been the decision to wait their return at the city gates. As it dragged on Isabela had done rather poor comparison of him to a pet which waits for it's master. His swift and angry retribution had caught the pirate by surprise, making her swear she'd never joke about Fenris again, a promise she'll hardly be able to keep all that long.

The next day after he had taken his place in the shadows of the grates, where he could easily see everything but hardly be seen himself, he started to wonder how he had ended up in a position like that. He had wanted to be free and fought for it more than he wanted to remember. Now he was tied to this city, city of chains of all places, with bonds way stronger than even the lyrium infused submission had been. He had something he could scarcely call home, he did services here and there that could pass as a job and most importantly, there were people he seemed to consider friends. Isabela escaping only with scrapes after equating him now to his older self was a proof that he had been way too soft, not to mention his wait for the return of Hawke. But was this actually just the freedom he had been looking for. Something he would never have found if he hadn't stumbled upon that ragtag group of opportunistic adventurers. How had it been that he managed to hire them to help him, and subsequently ended up helping them in their various endeavors...


	2. The first meeting

Fenris had been lured to Kirkwall by the possibility of acquiring some documents relating to the rite he'd been put through. While trying to find the whereabouts of his former master he had been able to contact an ex-apprentice of Danarius who had seemed bitter enough to be ready to part with some notes that had been left in his possession. Brief exchange of letters had left him with a pickup location in the Alienage of the corrupt city. Fenris hadn't got that far by being careless though, and especially since getting to the city had been easy, way less hunters than he'd gotten used to lately, he had no intention to spring the obvious trap by himself.

The professional help for just such an occasion was always available but what Fenris had learned about professionals was that their loyalty lay with the highest bidder and he didn't have coin to be wasted on potential turncoats. However unprofessional help was as easy to find and even easier to threaten to stay on his side. He had picked up a nervous looking dwarf from the Hanged Man and promised him some coin for the fetching task. He might not have been totally honest about the nature of the item he wanted to get retrieved, after all he intended to be around when the poor guy went to get it and could clear any misunderstandings with coin afterwards. That was, if it wasn't a trap after all. He had been generous enough to suggest the guy might want to get some companions with him on the job.

When he went to watch the operation the next night he was as surprised by the amount of pursuers waiting for him, or apparently anyone who went inside that small shack, as he was of the craftiness of the bloke he had hired. That, or the small group that was fighting with the slavers on the empty street of the alienage had just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. For a moment he was sure the dwarf had blabbered to authorities of his spun tale of lyrium import as he saw the uniform of the city guard on one of the fighters. But the rest of the group didn't seem to be all that official, not to mention they followed the orders of the scrapper of the group who danced around the battlefield stabbing and slashing opponents when they least expected. Fenris made his own part as well by making away with the reserves that would have shortly joined the fray. Regardless if this group was there on purpose or not it wouldn't hurt to gain their trust to get their help later. It seemed the game in Kirkwall was far from over.

-o-

The bell tolled to inform the closing of the city gates. Fenris lingered for a while longer in his hiding place before reluctantly leaving towards the mansion he'd been living in for the past months. Aveline interrupted him on his way to ask how the day on the gate duty had went. Had his daily routine begun too predictable? Fenris mainly shrugged as he wasn't on the mood to deal with the guard captain right now. The supposedly hidden concern towards the friends they both were waiting, as well as for the well being of himself was too obvious. He didn't want the pity of this woman who was busy enough with her fresh appointment to the new role. When he had shrugged her of he continued his way to the place he had decided to stay in. When he looked at the destruction that was evident everywhere, he hadn't bothered to clean up much, he was reminded of how that group of misfits had helped him to reclaim the place...

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><p>Thanks for the reviews and the trust put in me in the form of alerts.<p> 


	3. Unity by independence

Fenris's entrance had ended up being somewhat more impressive than he had originally intended but he had decided to ride on it to the end. When he was chasing the last of the group he'd finished back to their leader he got into view of the Alienage again. Not able to tell what he'd been expecting it surely hadn't been that small group being the only ones standing, fallen bodies littering the silent street. Fenris wasn't easily fazed however, something he'd learned early on in his former service, so he had instantly assumed an intimidating air and threatened the captain to flee, an opportunity the man hadn't realized to grasp. Instead he had accused Fenris of being a slave, and while technically true that was the one thing that broke through even his strongest self control. He had executed the man then and there, almost by instinct, with the cruelest way he knew forgetting everything about good impressions or intentions.

When Fenris had turned to face his helpers he had realized it was time for explanations. He could have spun any tale but after the accusation of the hunter captain, accusation he so brutally had dismissed, it would have been that much harder and with the truth he could at least try to play on their compassion. That or greed, although even if he could have given bold promises his funds were rather limited. Enough to settle questions of false item to be fetched but not near enough for the fight of this magnitude. He hadn't betrayed any of these inner doubts when answering to this humans numerous questions which, while they could have been passed as annoying curiousness, he took as healthy interest towards the situation they had been thrown in. Ignoring the mage on the background had been harder but he had been reminding himself that he hadn't seen this girl drawing blood to power her spells, nor was she in charge either.

A quick question about the contents of the bait had confirmed it to be just as he assumed, just a trap although he'd surprised himself by being a bit disappointed. Had he really believed he could finally get some insight of his condition? He had mentally bashed himself of this show of weakness while searching the captains body in the lack of better distraction. It had proven fruitful though giving him implication that his ultimate target, Danarius, was withing his reach. Fenris had struggled to contain the rage that was building inside him towards the man who had caused his endless suffering, in the favour of talking these adventurers lend him their continued help. The past with the magister had taught him that, while he had been the mans most powerful weapon, he was not all that helpless even without his little wolf. And it would have been stupid to perish due overconfidence now that he'd come so close. The rational side of his mind had also reminded him that it could could be just another trap as well.

The group had been surprisingly eager to continue helping him, seeing how they had been tricked on the job already, although not strictly by Fenris himself. The group leader had been curious about his intentions with Danarius though, and his answer had finally shown all the bitterness and rage he had felt. Regardless, for a promise of coin they had agreed to follow him to the manor in Hightown and help within. Had they not asked for reward he would have doubted their intentions, after all the world didn't run on compassion alone. Only the city guard in the group would have wanted to help him free of charge but that probably came with her position, to help the oppressed. The groups way to express their opinions freely had piqued Fenris's interest. In his former service he had been used to the reality that slaves never expressed opinions towards their masters, and even in various mercenary and hunter groups he had encountered later on the men had rarely voiced doubts of the decisions of their leaders. This kind of solidarity had reminded him of something else, of those people that had been the firsts to show him the road to freedom. While this little leader hadn't agreed with all her people, she seemed to have respected and valued their opinions nonetheless.

When they had reached the Hightown Fenris had parted the group to go to scout the place beforehand. Nothing suspicious had been laid out however, if you didn't count occasional fake guardsman that had plagued the Hightown streets lately, so Fenris had had ample time to device the strategy while waiting the others. All of that planning had been blown away though when he finally had got in to the mansion, and had felt the revenge was near. All the rage he had tried to contain blew through and he'd stormed forward alone if the presence of that woman, Hawke, wouldn't have been so commanding. She'd reminded him that it was them who were taking the risk, and thus it would be done in their terms. It was she that went ahead to scout and to disarm traps and only then would she agree to let them move forward.

When they had found first shades he'd been sure the group would be terrified but to his surprise they had dispatched them like they were any other thugs. Only then had he found out from their comments afterward that the Fereldens of the group, that being all the others except the dwarf, had already fought against and killed numerous darkspawn as well as an ogre while fleeing their home. That had explained the results in the Alienage of course, although it still had left Fenris to wonder how it could work, without a structure of any kind. Apart from rare commands from Hawke they all seemed to do whatever and just by sheer luck had managed to support each other. He had seen groups that fought wordlessly as one before but that had been clearly a result of years practice. This was something else and Fenris had felt an unnatural longing to belong to this group, to be part of this kind of unity by independence. The burning rage had pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind though while they had advanced through the eerily empty halls battling with the denizens of the Fade.

-o-

Fenris looked at the now empty bottle of cheap wine he had been drinking for the past hours. Intoxicating himself was not the best idea, especially if he was still supposedly pursued. He wondered what had broken him out of his reverie when he heard the clattering noise again. One good thing with the mansion being in the shape it was, it served as an alarm as well. Only the deftest intruders were able to sneak past the entrance hall without causing a sound. Hawke was one of those, he reminded himself while grabbing the giant sword he never left out of his reach. When he got down the stairs he found Merril who was looking around clearly unsure of where she was. By her own word she had been looking for Merchants Guild but had probably taken a wrong turn or two. Fenris sighed heavily when he showed her out and pointed the correct way. He'd never liked the elven mage but since he'd not heard of her using magic at all since arriving Kirkwall he just tried to pretend she didn't exist. With her poor sense of direction that was hard though as you never knew where she might end up. He returned back upstairs to try and get some sleep before the next day.

* * *

><p>Ended up with a bit longer one this time, seems I'm picking up the pace. Not that I seem to get anywhere, hopefully the slow advancing doesn't bother.<p> 


	4. Settling down

The next morning saw Fenris again arriving at the gates making sure he'd be there already when they opened. This time he had unexpected company though as Bodahn insistently joined him in the wait, like a merchant of his stature had nothing better to do. While Fenris didn't drive him off, there was no real reason to, he was rather silent company for the talkative dwarf. In the lack of conversation companion Bodahn started to reminiscence about the elf he had traveled with the good part of the previous year. He told of how she had been merely a runaway warden with that human in tow when they had first met but how he'd instantly knew they were destined for greatness. And that they had, she had moved the nation, and he had ended up as the king of it. She'd had that quality that people just wanted to help her and follow her. Hawke had reminded him of that he pointed out. Fenris who had been half listening gave one of his rare half smiles. His help in particular had not been hard to gain.

-o-

When the group had finally cleared their way through multitude of traps and Fade spawn it had become clear that this had been just another bait. If Danarius had even been there he had been long gone. In his exasperation Fenris had left the group to loot the place, something Hawke seemed to do with meticulous eagerness, while getting out himself. Suddenly the walls had felt suffocating, the stench of magic too much to bear. He could have fled then, regardless of the high promises of reward he had given to that group, but for better or worse, he had chosen not to. He had been waiting them when they had come out with full pockets and pouches, couple bundles of fine cloth and some candelabra dangling from the dwarfs belt.

Fenris had told them his tale of fugitive, his existence as a mere object in his former masters eye. He had offered all the coin he had as a reward, even if it was a paltry sum, but more importantly, he had offered himself, his continued help. Had it been because he had felt the silver he gave wasn't even nearly adequate for the support they had given? He hadn't had trouble stealing what he needed before during his freedom. Or had it been because he had wanted to belong, to feel being part of this group that seemed to be built on mutual trust? Fenris hadn't done much to gain such trust himself and still the humans attitude towards him had felt friendly, caring even if he'd believed he could deserve such. Hawke had grinned and warned him that she might come calling on that promise sooner than he'd think. When Fenris had turned to walk away she had called his name and he had turned around just in time to catch a flying coin purse he had handed out only moments earlier. Hawke had only laughed at his questioning look.

Hawke had been true to her word. It had only been the next day that she had come to find Fenris from the abandoned mansion to which he had settled in. Not to call him on any adventure even, but just to talk. Fenris had not had many actual conversations before. Even after his escape he hadn't been one to approach people except in purely professional matters, and those who might have been curious enough to seek a conversation themselves had been put off by his looks. That hadn't seem to bother her though. Fenris had told about his past, more than to anyone even if not all that much. She had listened, understood but not pried nor offered empty condolences. Instead she had told her own tale which, while fundamentally different, had felt familiar, both being refugees who'd found a home in Kirkwall. Had it been already back then that he'd decided to stay there? When he had asked what she was doing now she had told playfully that she was gathering a small fortune in a manner of weeks. It had took him a while to realize she was serious. All that for that cursed expedition.

-o-

Fenris was shaken out of his memories only to notice Bodahn was long gone. He had parted a while earlier when he'd noticed that apart from talking, Fenris wasn't listening much. He took a quick look around to see what had caught his attention and saw a young woman running through the plaza towards the gates with a templar hot in pursuit. Most of the onlookers made way in fear of the runaway mages retaliation. Even if it wasn't all that busy day that left a clear path in the crowd. Fenris didn't have such reservations though and as the girl was already heading his way he took a few quick steps to confront her, his markings flaring angrily. The girl, taken by surprise, was slowed long enough for the templar to caught up with her. When she had been properly apprehended the templar took a look on Fenris from head to toe as if challenging him to explain what he was. Fenris who had already subdued the surge of lyrium in his skin, as painful as it was, didn't like the attention and only acknowledged the templar with a faint nod before slinking back to his position between the grates.

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><p>Thanks again for the review. It's the comments that keep this writer a happy cat and ease the writing.<p> 


	5. Hate a Mage

Against his assumptions, Fenris had fit in quickly with his newly found companions. He had more or less ended up replacing the guard woman, Aveline on their little outings, to Hawkes clear relief. There had been no actual ill will between the women, but Avelines noble views had often been at odds with Hawkes more opportunistic ones. That and Aveline had been busy enough with her actual duties, more so after they had ruffled some feathers high enough to land her an impending promotion to be the captain of the guard. It hadn't actually lessened her workload. For that reason maybe among others, Aveline hadn't seemed to mind all that much for being left out from Hawkes occasionally rather questionable money raising schemes.

The actual money raising had taken somewhat longer than the couple weeks Hawke had originally intended, though she'd got all the time she wanted to take. It had turned out that apart from monetary support, Bartrand had been sorely missing something else to launch the expedition, something the dwarf of her group, Varric had conveniently arranged for Hawke to find thus making her irreplaceable. That had been the maps to actually get anywhere near the area they were intended to explore. That had also been how they had first found Anders, an apostate and as it had soon turned out, an abomination as well, even if he'd claimed to be settled by a benevolent spirit and not a malevolent one.

Fenris had hated him since they had first met. He hated all mages of course and Danarius in particular with a deep seethed rage, but there had been something in Anders person as well that he couldn't stand. Fenris likely would have hated him even if he hadn't been a mage. Hawke hadn't shared his distrust though, probably because she had grown up in apostate family. Being a healer of some merit, Anders had had a clinic in the undercity for those who could not afford, or otherwise were reluctant to use the chantry sanctioned healers. How he had pulled that in a city swarmed with templars had been everyone's guess. Being also a former Grey Warden he'd got an intimate knowledge of the Deeproads and some maps he'd been ready to exchange to a favor.

Hawke had agreed to help of course, and after the messy deal the mission had turned out to be Anders had offered his continued help, much like Fenris had done only some days earlier. To Fenris's annoyance, Hawke had been glad to accept the offered help as that way Bethany, her sister, was not so essential for the well being of the group and afterward had often stayed home looking after their mother. At first Fenris had considered of refusing to work with the abomination but after some thought stayed with them anyway. Protecting Hawke, as well from threats within the group as otherwise, had just seemed natural place to be. Fenris had reasoned it was because that was what he was best at. At least this time he had chosen the person he protects himself.

-o-

Fenris pushed the memories back in his mind. He didn't actually want to remind himself of Anders. He was angry that Hawke had chosen that person over himself, even if she had reasoned it with Anders's knowledge of the Deeproads. And Anders even wouldn't have wanted to go there anymore, although he had agreed when Hawke had asked, while Fenris instead would have wanted to follow her anywhere she'd take him, but was left behind. Was he really so taken with the human? Isabela had suggested he was jealous some days after the expedition had left and he had been drowning his bad mood in the Hanged Man. He had profusely disagreed then, stating that for being jealous, he would have had needed some preference towards Hawke in the first place. Fenris hoped there would be some unrest at the gate soon for him to bury these thoughts and let the throbbing lyrium run free.

* * *

><p>Another shorter one and I still had trouble to get it down. Too much things to tell but however I turn it the puzzle pieces don't seem to fit..<p> 


	6. Makeshift meal

The evening sun had just painted the white stonewalls of Kirkwall into hues of flaring orange when an older woman with a small basket hanging in her arm came from the city towards the gate looking around in search of something. Fenris stepped out of his corner to greet Leandra, the woman whom he had learned to respect as Hawke sisters's mother even if he had met her only couple times before. Leandra hadn't quite agreed his company to her daughter, not that she had agreed most of the company she had kept. Since her daughter had been the one to bring the coin to their hovel though her brother had convinced her not to complain all that much. By her look it was clear the last weeks had not been kind to her.

When she saw Fenris she walked to him, clearly having found the purpose she had come for. To Fenris's curious greeting she only answered that she'd been told he could be found from here, before she started to empty the basket on a nearby crate, first covering it with a piece of cloth that had been protecting the contents. Bottle of cheap wine, some hard cheese and a loaf of bread, the few fresh fruits she fished out last being a luxury. For Fenris's wondering look she just gestured towards the makeshift table when she poured the wine to two wooden goblets she had also placed there.

Fenris had seen more exquisite feasts, as well as served some, but this one seemed more impressive than any of those. He knew that Leandra was not a wealthy woman. While Hawke had left her as much coin as she could, most of her earnings had went to fund the expedition. Offering from her own to a person she barely approved, what had Aveline told about him, as it surely couldn't have been anyone else. Looking at the meal also reminded Fenris that he hadn't eaten a proper meal in days. He sat on another crate and started to eat in silence while she did the same.

It took Leandra some time to build the courage to say what she had come to say. The orange on the walls had already faded to pale rose when she finally put down the empty goblet she had been nursing and looked at Fenris, for the first time searching for the elf beneath the markings. She told him that she was grateful for the trust he had placed on her daughter, for the vigil he had kept, but that he'd have to stop, that they'd both have to accept that they weren't coming back. Fenris didn't know what to say. Was she pitying him, or trying to console herself? He hadn't even considered the possibility of them being lost. But Leandra had already lost so much, her family, her husband and son, and now her last children were somewhere out there. Fenris wondered if not remembering his kin was a blessing of sorts.

While Fenris stayed silent Leandra asked him if he could tell her of his time together with her daughter, tall tale of their adventures which Hawke had promised to tell her once they'd come back from the Deeproads. Fenris didn't want to be crude and he saw this might have been the closure she needed so he complied with the request and started with recalling the time they had slayed a dragon. Leandra listened while absentmindedly scratching their family mabari which had at some point come sit besides her. Fenris was in the mid sentence when he stopped to stare it in disbelief. Hadn't it followed Hawke to Deeproads? Fenris faced the dog and asked it where it's master was, as the one thing Fenris knew about these Fereldan house beasts was that they did understand.

The dog sprang up and bounced around few times, wagging it's tail, before starting to jog towards the gate stopping halfway to look back as if to see if he was followed. Fenris didn't need another call while he ran after the dog following it through the gates on the last rays of the setting sun. The gate bell rang behind his back when the dog lead him towards the Wounded Coast, roads and paths that had become familiar to him in the past months while traveling them in pursuit of various trouble. Now he dearly hoped it wouldn't be trouble he'd find.

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><p>Apparently chapter length is not my forte, hopefully the storytelling is or I'd be rather poor writer indeed. Thanks for the reviews and a humble request for more, even if critical ones.<p> 


	7. Hillside reunion

It was getting dark when Fenris followed the mabari on the winding path along the hilly shoreline. During the past months this area had become quite familiar to him since Hawkes adventures had often taken them there. On their first trip though he had been somewhat surprised to know the coast better than her since he had spent some time to ensure he had not been followed by slavers before entering he city for the first time. Hawke on the other hand had not left the city once. That had been how Fenris had found out of Hawkes yearlong servitude and how her employer had made sure all her jobs kept her securely in the city. Then there had been that pirate woman of course who knew every nook and cave on the whole jagged coastline. She had ended up offering her continuing help for Hawke after Hawke had helped her with some matter of hers, much like the rest of the group.

In the end though all of them could tell every path and cave there was to know. That memory made Fenris to notice something he hadn't thought much of before. He had been with Hawke on her every trip, but others had not. Had she done it on purpose? Or had it been his own insistence? Of course the others had all their own things to do which kept them occupied at times and for Fenris there was nothing except waiting Danarius trying to track him again. Still he couldn't deny he was quite taken with Hawke, the past week being enough proof of that, and the only reason he could think of was that he saw something like a new master in her, a person he wanted to protect with his own life if necessary. That was a disturbing thought since everything Fenris had sought to be was to be free.

The mabari gave a bark for Fenris to notice it had turned on a side path which in this darkness was welcome sign. He knew this side path would take them on a clearing they had often used for camping if they had deemed it so late they couldn't make it to the city before sundown. That gave him some hope of finding Hawke and the others just staying for the night, not forced to stop. As he had almost reached the top a gruff dwarven voice told him to identify himself but a happy bark from the mabari made Varric to lower Bianca while he tried to see whom it had brought with it. After Fenris had identified himself Varric's first question was if Bartrand was in Kirkwall, the hatred it was presented with explaining a lot of their delayed return.

To his disappointment Fenris could only tell that while Bartrand had arrived a week ago, he had also left not so long after. Fenris had even tried to find out where but apparently the dwarf had made it hard to follow himself. As their conversation drew out the mabari continued to the camp with a bouncy step, apparently pleased to have done what was expected. When Fenris followed soon after he saw Hawke chiding her mabari of not bringing Aveline as she had instructed. As he stepped in the meager light of their campfire the mabari took a few hops towards him and circled him as if wanting to show it had found a next best option. When Hawke noticed who had actually come her face could betray her surprise. While he certainly wasn't Aveline, he seemed to be the last person she'd expected to see.

While Fenris commented her daze she told she'd though he hated her now, hated her for being left behind. That he'd surely left Kirkwall or at least wouldn't want to see her anymore. How could he ever hate her? Hawke's emotional outburst had caught the attention of Anders who had been sitting by the campfire looking like he hadn't slept in a month. He stepped up as quickly as he could in that condition and came to stand half between them, asking what Fenris had done to her and telling him to not bother her, that she already had enough on her mind. The mage's over protectiveness irritated Fenris, more so because he deemed the mage to be the biggest danger there was. His intervention also made Fenris to notice there was no one else in the camp and he managed to ask where Bethany was right before thinking the better of it.

The question obviously seemed to have been the wrong one. Hawke was going to answer something but her voice broke. Instead she headed towards Varric's guard post and Fenris didn't even have time to consider following her before Anders told him not to do so. When Varric arrived a moment later to see what had happened to bring Hawke to him almost in tears he found the two arguing, Fenris blaming Anders of everything he was and Anders blaming Fenris for everything he was not. It took some effort even from that natural born diplomat to make them stop it. Neither of them could quite tell why they had got so heated over the matter. If Varric had his own assumptions he didn't bring them out. Instead he asked if Fenris could hold the watch over the night for them as he'd probably be in the best condition to do so, for which Fenris gladly agreed.

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><p>Sorry for the delay. My muse took a shore leave without asking me first (proverbial muse, that is, not a real person) leaving me with nothing to write. Hopefully getting back on track now.<p>

About Fenris and how I see him, he's not stupid as such, but emotions are not his strong point, his own or others.


	8. Story in the night

After the sounds from the camp died out the silent night was soon filled with chirping and buzzing and few calls of the night bird. That didn't stop Fenris hearing the small steps of Hawke coming towards him, way before he saw her lithe form drawn against the dim shine of the moonlit hillside. Her arrival wasn't totally unexpected as she had done so occasionally before while Fenris had been in night watch. Still there was quite a while of their last night talk and they hadn't actually parted in good terms all those weeks ago. Fenris had been less than understanding when he had heard he was left out of the expedition especially in favor of Anders. He had realized only afterward how out of character it had been of him, not to mention unfair, and by then it had been too late to apologize.

Still it was Hawke who started with an apology by asking Fenris to forgive her the overtly emotional welcome she had given. Fenris told her there was nothing to forgive as it had more or less been his fault in the first place. What he wasn't going to forgive was Anders's interruption but that he didn't voice out. Instead he asked if she could tell him about their trip, why they had not been with the main group. He had already heard the main points from Varric but not near the whole story. Fenris didn't even notice how desperately he just wanted to talk with her, about anything, to hear her voice which had become part of the reality he wanted to live in the short time they had known each other.

Hawke sat on the ground leaning on the rock Fenris was sitting on and started to recall their tale from the time they had had to save Sandal, Bodahn's son. While Fenris told that Bodahn had mentioned about it she seemed clearly glad to hear that the merchant and the rest of the group had been able to return safely. Whatever feud they had towards Bartrand seemed to be personal kind and when her story reached his betrayal it was easy to understand why. But as Fenris had assumed they had been hard to kill indeed and after getting locked in they had just delved deeper into the tunnels to find another route out.

Darkspawn had been their common companions, although Hawke mentioned how Anders had had an almost unerring aptitude to tell when they'd meet them. While the mage had been mostly vague about it, it hadn't been too hard to figure out it had something to do with his greywarden past. It probably had been the reason for his nightmares too. Hawke told that Anders had hardly slept at all during the time they had been underground. And he had known it beforehand, Fenris added in his mind, hence the reason for the abominations aversion to travel to deeproads again. Fenris couldn't help but almost pity the man as a suspicion gnawed him. Would they have fared any better if it had been him instead down there.

He got his crushing answer when the story got to the part about Bethany contracting the blight disease. It had been Anders who had been able to offer hope for her survival, even if meager one. He had revealed that becoming a greywarden might save her life and had even been able to track down couple of his ex-comrades who had taken Bethany with them. Fenris would have wanted to ask why she had even taken her sister with her as it had been obvious the expedition would be dangerous. But this time Fenris knew better than to ask especially as Hawkes voice had already gotten strained out when she recalled this part. Besides he knew the answer, it had been to protect her sister from a potential fate they regarded even worse. It was only now that Fenris realized how much the mages here really dreaded the circle.

A bit after that part her story started to drop of between frequent yawns and soon Fenris noticed she had snoozed of still leaning on the rock. He went to fetch her bedding which was neatly laid out and covered her half sitting form with her blanket. Looking down at her now she seemed so vulnerable. Fenris couldn't forgive himself the anxiety he had caused her earlier and he decided not to do it again even if it meant killing all the fledgling attachment he had felt towards her. For being usefull to her he wouldn't need emotions anyway.

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><p>Thanks for the review. I was going to answer it actually but PM was not allowed :( Again apologies of slow story progress.<p> 


	9. Return to Kirkwall

The morning sun crept lazily over the horizon, letting its first rays crawl to the small encampment on the hill. While they didn't seem to have any effect on the mage, Varric woke up well slept, for a first time in weeks. However, the sun rays nor the dwarf found Hawke besides the long dead campfire, a fact that didn't seem to disturb the dwarf a bit. When he got to Fenris to ask how the night had been and found Hawke sleeping against his sitting stone hugging her blanket, he only regarded it with a silent chuckle. Fenris wasn't in so cheery mood though. If he in the dark of the night had seemed almost human, his worry of the remnant expedition obvious and his emotions in the surface enough to argue with Anders, none of that remained. Now it was the broody elf they had got used to know again. He told Varric that the night had been rather uneventful, he had only had to chase some overgrown rodents away.

Hawke woke up soon after to their voices briefly seeming confused of her location before she hid it, either because she recalled the reason or because she deemed such show of surprise unfitting for herself. Instead she asked the men around her why they had decided to come chatting right besides her sleeping place, inviting another chuckle from Varric while Fenris instead of answering suggested he'd go to wake up the mage. Varric was quick to offer to do it himself mumbling something about a dogfight when he headed back to the camp. When they all had risen up and eaten a semblance of a breakfast it was time to pack up for the last leg of their journey back to Kirkwall.

The light of the day revealed the sad state of the group. Anders looked like a walking corpse, Varric had lost his jolly disposition and Hawke looked thinner than a scarecrow. Their scarce equipment was in bad shape, merely a few blankets and something you might have called a kettle. The most impressive thing was the amount of loot they had managed to haul nonetheless. Apparently neither Hawke nor Varric could have resisted their natural urge to loot everything that looked valuable and while they had somewhat sensibly left the heavier items behind they had an impressive collection of small and valuable things from crafting resources to small figurines, and couple pouches of assorted jewelry. They would have been rich by this loot alone, not to mention the earnings she stood to get from the main expedition partnership.

The traveling didn't take long, after all Fenris had covered it in an hour or so previous night. Even though their speed couldn't match the eager flight of his, they got in the vicinity of the Kirkwall before noon. When they got to the gates the guards in duty hailed Fenris as a comrade, a gesture which he absentmindedly returned. The questioning looks from the rest of the company were not unexpected. Fenris merely shrugged them away not being in the mood to explain his week spend on the gates. Besides, he was sure they'd hear about it from the guard captain soon enough. They found the said redhead earlier than he had thought waiting them in the gate square right when they had walked in, along with Isabela and Leandra. Even Merril had managed to find the place on time or more probably, someone had made sure to show her the way.

Aveline told that the guards who had been on the gate last night had reported her the peculiar act of Fenris after their shift, as they had already learned that the ghostly helper they had got for the week was an acquaintance of their captain. Since mabari hounds were not all that common in Kirkwall anyway, hearing that Fenris had chased one out of the gates had told her enough of the reason. When she had headed to tell the news to Leandra she had met Isabela who apparently had already heard the story as well. She didn't get further with her explanation when Leandra with a frightened tone asked where Bethany was. Hawkes face showed that this was what she had dreaded, to tell her mother that she had lost the sister she was out to protect.

Fenris was afraid that she'd break again like she had done last night but instead she was able to give fairly collected explanation, to tell that her sister was alive and in good hands, and that they'd hear about her soon enough. It was obvious for him that the story she gave for her mother was not the whole painful truth but there would have been little sense to intervene. Even Isabela had some sense to stay quiet even if her expression told that she didn't believe that to be everything there was to it. When Merril started to ask why Bethany had had to stay somewhere else her question soon changed to why Isabela had stumbled to her as surely that was not possible on even ground at least with Isabelas reflexes. Fortunately Leandra seemed oblivious to their squabble, her emotions already battling between sorrow of losing yet another child and relief of at least other girl coming back.

when the first greetings had been exchanged Aveline led them to a small barrack room near the gates telling that the current shift had gladly offered to borrow it for a while even if for personal use after hearing the reason. This was either a testament to her popularity as a captain or their respect towards Fenris, probably both. On the wooden table had been prepared a lunch which, while nothing too fancy, was very welcome to the group that had mostly eaten just roasted rodents lately. When they had started eating and recalling their tale to eager listeners Fenris departed in silence, only the mabari giving him a questioning whine.

He had got them back, done his part and now he wasn't needed anymore. When Hawke would next time invite him to help her in her jobs he'd eagerly be there but that was all he was supposed to be. Was he content with that position? He didn't have time to answer that question when a cheery voice called her name from the doorway he'd just left behind. Fenris didn't have to turn back to know it was Hawke, although why she'd even bothered with him was not so clear. When he did turn around she playfully berated him, telling that celebration without him would feel as sour as his usual expression. That their gathering was sorely missing it's resident brooder. Why did she care was Fenris's only thought when he let her lead him back in.

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><p>*offers the story a cupcake with a candle* yay, full 10s, that is, ten reviews, ten favourings and ten alerts. Not meaning it had to be left to that of course ^_^<p>

Again my apologies for the delay.


	10. Moving in

The next weeks went by quickly. The first matter to settle was the expedition revenue. Luckily for Hawke, Varric had pressured her make it an official Merchant's Guild contract, either because he had suspected his brother all the way or because it was just part of dwarven nature. When the Merchant Guild had devised this particular contract which guaranteed the revenue for named beneficiaries in case of deceased or lost partner, the mystical disappearances of partners on the expeditions had dropped to under half. In a way it was a form of a will. It usually also contained a defined waiting time especially for cases where the death of the partner could not have been verified by the expedition members. In this case the time had been set to month and they had arrived to Kirkwall only a week after Bartrand. So reclaiming that revenue turned out to be easy enough.

While Bodahn, whose job it had been to list all the findings didn't have any reason to assume Bartrand had reported every item found, most notably the lyrium statue the group claimed to have found right before getting locked in, the revenue was still rather large. That together with the gold they got from selling the loot they had carried from the latter part of their deeproad crawl arose another problem. Having a lot of hold and living in the Lowtown didn't mix.

After the first few attempts on Hawkes fortune and subsequently for her life Fenris took it a habit to travel with her as a bodyguard, a practice which Hawke didn't seem to mind at all. While there was no doubt that Hawke couldn't have defended herself, as even with her deceivingly frail look she was actually rather good at it, Fenris's intimidating presence usually encouraged the would be attackers to reconsider before they even tried making the useless bloodshed avoidable.

The other part of the problem was that the shack of her uncle was not all that safe either. Luckily on both occasions where the robbers were smart enough to wait Hawke to leave her mother and uncle alone, a pair of which neither was actually a battle expert, Isabela had just happened to be passing by and had made quick work of the assailants. In any case it was clear that they should get a place from the upper town which was at least relatively safe.

When Leandra had met the Viscount a bit after the expedition had left town he had expressed his regret that she had been cheated out of her rightful inheritance that way, but that since the manor had been sold he couldn't just make the current owners to give it back. However he could give an official mandate forcing them to sell it back for the same amount of gold they had bought it with, out of respect towards the Amell family. While at that point it had been meaningless for practically copperless Leandra it turned out to be handy now. In two weeks time they had moved in to the house of Leandras youth, at the same time moving to live only few blocks away from Fenris's occupied residence.

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><p>Getting onward. I'm not sure how I'm going to cover the three years, will I just pass them by or fill in some occasions... Will see I guess..<p> 


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